Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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