we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
