No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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