We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
