Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
