Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
