he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
