Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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