He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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