she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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