I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
