No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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