i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
