We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you never un-have a 4some
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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