covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
