"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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