Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Having a random hookup so left but love u
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
