MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
