You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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