oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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