I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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