once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
