Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
