got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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