My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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