its not stalking. its research.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
