bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
