i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
love makes seman taste better
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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