using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
