quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
