Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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