I think my vagina is haunted
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
