help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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