Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
