Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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