dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
