he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
NoShamevember. You game?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
