we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize