somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
