i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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