U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
