do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
