Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
