Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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