So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
