When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
