I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
