if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
