My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
