I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
