aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
