Don't you send me to vm
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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