Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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